Mission: accomplished

I'm still uncomfortably headachey. That's right, bitches, it's been 24 hours plus a 3-hour practice. I do what I say and I say what I do. Plus, Dan cleaned the sink. I'm the man!

There's still puke in our sink

It smells like ass in there. Where's Connie? I'm not cleaning it up.

So far so good

I'm uncomfortably headachey. Also, someone puked in our sink last night. Ugh.

Tonight's itinerary

First, we're having a team meeting in the suite where we establish goals for next semester. I'm pumped because I might get to make a speech about committing to going to practice and getting in shape and kicking ass at Wilmington. I love making speeches.

Then, we're pregaming for the COÖP party in our suite. I'm gonna challenge Greg to a speed-drinking contest and make him eat my ass. He's gonna eat it hard, too, because I've been practicing shotgunning Natty Ices for months. I love hazing rookies.

Finally, we're going to Sari and Abby's for the COÖP party. I'm gonna get so hazardously shit-faced that I feel uncomfortably headachey for the next 24 hours. I love getting hazardously shit-faced.

What if your name was Fuckles?

That's it. I'm just wondering. What if? That'd be pretty crazy, right?

Take that

I am a mastermind of fake e-mail accounts, mass messaging, and redemptive blogging. Assuming Lili's the only one who was in on the creation of my own fake blog.... Eh, so what if she wasn't? I'm the fucking man. EAT MY ASS, LIL' GOOBER!!!

Bert only dates Zerglings. And the occasional Terran.

I'm back

Okay. I've come to terms with this whole imposter situation. For the most part. I even have a good idea of who said online doppelganger might be, and let me tell you -- I'm gonna prank the shit out of her.