Why individual cans are better than economy-sized bottles

They just are. If you're not convinced, take a look at this list I made of other people's lame arguments against cans and my flawless rebuttals:

• But they contain smaller volumes of liquid! They're pre-portioned, man. That's so perfect for helping people measure and limit their sugar intake -- especially people who lack self-control when it comes to drinking V8 (and who doesn't?).
  
• But they're comparably more expensive! I gladly pay for comfort and convenience. What's better than an ice-cold can of vegetable juice, all ready to go and perfect for pairing with a hot HamDel sandwich? (Besides Natty Ice, of course.)
  
• But they're not sold everywhere! Neither are bottles, douchewad. And cans are sold in the only place that really matters -- HamDel.
• But they negatively impact the environment! So do bottles, douchewad. Also? Fuck the environment.