I'm old

Because it's my birthday,
I present this acrostic
Reporting, dear readers,
That I'm the fucking man, dick!
Happy 2-0 to this guy--
Dude's too awesome for words
And with Pork skills so nasty,
You'll be faked out in herds.

Please give me cool presents
Or at least let me win Smash.
Eat my ass, do my homework--
My big day's here at last!

Bert made this for me. And put it on my Facebook. Touché, Alphonso Chen.

More like video LAME

I'm sad. Bert and Milo and Dan keep hanging out and playing video games. First it was HoN, then MarioKart, and now Smash. They know how bad I am at video games! Ugh, even Connie's better than I am. I bet Genevieve and Lili would be, too, if they ever tried. I hope they don't. I can't be the worst.

Anyway, today they were playing for so long that I ended up doing my econ homework -- the entire problem set! Can you believe it? Then I got tired and fell asleep on the table. Don't get me wrong; I love playing video games. I was even the one who bought our N64. But being bad at stuff sucks.

I'm so cute! I'm dreaming of the Super Smash Bros. Eating my ass.