Still not too old

Today marks a very important day in my life, because it's the 365th-to-last day I'll be able to pawn car-renting responsibilities off on someone else.  I mean, obviously I'll still be lazy as balls and make other people do it for me years from now, but this is the last year I can do that without anyone suspecting I'm lazy as balls.

So eat my ass and rent me a car, turds.  I'm 24!

I'm older

I've been pretty busy obsessing over tournament stats and working on my rap career, so I haven't posted in a while, but today, I'm feeling philosophical.

Birthday. What is a birthday? A combination of two one-syllabled words, one a noun, and the other a noun that serves as an adjective. I like birthdays all right. But you know what I like more? Horsemeat. Nutrage. Spacedong. Those are some classy words.

One more classy word: shotgun. It's time for me to go do that to some shitty beer. Happy 21st, me!

Don't call it a comeback.

I'm old

Because it's my birthday,
I present this acrostic
Reporting, dear readers,
That I'm the fucking man, dick!
Happy 2-0 to this guy--
Dude's too awesome for words
And with Pork skills so nasty,
You'll be faked out in herds.

Please give me cool presents
Or at least let me win Smash.
Eat my ass, do my homework--
My big day's here at last!

Bert made this for me. And put it on my Facebook. Touché, Alphonso Chen.

Nyah hah hah hah

I made this today. And put it on Bert's Facebook. Oh yeah! This is so funny. I got him so good. I got him so good, I most certainly am the man.

Flock of Berts!

I participate in fall cleaning

Today everyone cleaned again. Ugh. I like that the suite's clean now, but the fact that I came in in the middle of that whole messy cleaning process made me have to pretend to participate. I threw a few things away, sure, but after my laundry experience, I just couldn't get into it.

I did, however, go through my Facebook and clean that up a lot. I narrowed down my pictures to just the top 110. So if, say, Sally's wandering around online one day and decides to look me up, she'll only get the best of the best of me. I hate that people tag me in so many dumb pictures. Ugh, it's almost as bad as getting invited to events I don't want to go to. But that's a rant for another day. For now, here are some awesome pictures I decided to keep tagged:

I'm the man.

I'm the man.

I'm the man.

Ass-eating accomplished

15-9 over NYU -- ass was eaten.
14-5 over James Madison -- ass was devoured.

In the end, we lost universe point to Delaware in finals, but I'm surprisingly okay emotionally. I think this is because on the ride back home, we came up with sick names for every one of this year's Winter League teams:

• The Alphonso Chens
• The Alb0rt Ch0ns
• The Dongleberts
• Flock of Berts

Tentative jersey designs include Bert's face with a mustache, Bert's face on a bird, and Bert's face in a repeating paisley pattern across the entire front and back of a shirt.

N0mn0mn0m, I'm Alb0rt Ch0n. Put my face on your clothes, bitch.