Existential emergency

Shit, guys. I just discovered the weirdest thing. I'm at a complete loss for words (except for all the ones I'm about to say). Seriously, anything I've ever thought was weird and uncomfortable before? Completely fucking forgettable compared to this.

I have an imposter.

You read that right. Someone out there has been pretending to be me on the internet, and has been UPDATING A FAKE BLOG FROM MY PERSPECTIVE FOR AN ENTIRE MONTH.

What the-- what am I supposed to do?! I can't even think! This is insane. This is just...shit, it even has readers. The fucking thing has comments from my friends responding to my posts, but it's NOT FUCKING ME. Who does this? Who fucking knows this much about me?

I don't know whether to be flattered or freaked out. I guess I'm a little of both, I guess. No, a lot of both. I'm very flattered -- it's kind of like I'm famous or something, right? And I'm a whole fucking lot freaked out.

I'm not sure where to proceed from here. Do I ignore it? Do I keep updating my own blog in the hopes that my true friends will know I'm the real Gui? Do I just...stop? I still can't think. My blogosphere has been turned upside down. I need to go suck on a Ritter Sport and spit it out before I ingest too much sugar. Updates to follow.*

*Or are they? Who even knows anymore?!

Thanksgiving hiatus

Oh, last night ended up being kind of fun, I guess. We invited Eliza and Nathan and friends over and drank and played board games. I like being really belligerent about games until everyone else gives up and I win (see, the problem with Smash is that it's impossible to do that), so I'm in a good mood again. Happy Thanksgiving! See you after the break.

Day 1

It's already happening. I just found out I have to go to La Negrita tonight for what will definitely turn out to be a boring, unoriginal, and un-entertaining time. Drinking at bars with friends? That's all anyone could come up with? Fuck. Why do they even try?

This week is going to suck

Thanksgiving is on Thursday, which means everyone's going to be boring and stupid and waiting for Thanksgiving for the next three days. It's so lame. I guarantee you nothing fun will happen.

Something weird and wonderful just happened to me

I had an action-packed day today. I woke up at 2 PM, which is pretty early for a weekend, and went downtown to see a friend for lunch. Then -- and this is where it gets weird -- I met up with Bert and Milo to go to this art exhibit called Zee. I can't find the exact words to describe it, but imagine for a moment that you spend twenty minutes getting skull-fucked by an incredible geometric projector-fog illusion, then go meet up with Lili and Genevieve for a lovely Thanksgiving dinner home-cooked by Milo's mom. I'd say that's pretty close.

Am I having a seizure? Am I dead? No way to tell.

...We're a happy family!

Today is the day for that rant

I have to go out to La Negrita tonight. I do NOT want to go. Why are people constantly inviting me to things? It's always, like, some random group of people who act like they're more than just acquaintances, and it's impossible to say no and not be rude. Ugh. It's almost like they want to be friends.

I mean, I'm sure I'll have fun tonight. But this happens constantly. Oh, and Facebook -- don't get me started on Facebook.

Too late. I'm already started. Facebook invitations are the worst. Why do you want me to come eat free food and socialize at your lame club event, Girl I Once Had Class With? What, do you think I'm actually gonna go to this benefit concert all the way in fucking Wien? What do I get if I go, some chips and salsa? A t-shirt? A sense of brotherhood and accomplishment for having supported a wonderful cause in a fun way? Gay. I'm unfriending you.

THANK GOD

They're back! I have friends!!!